Today's the Day...or Maybe It's Tomorrow?

Ah, the New Year...that little known phenomenon where we feel that little voice in our heads pushing us to make a change, sweetly known as 'the new years resulution'. That wonderful time of year when anything seems possible, when we decide THIS is the year when we will set goals and really make them happen. Sound familiar? So, how's that working for you?

I'm musing today on why it is that we seem to always fall into the pattern of doing the same thing over and over again when we know those things are not working for us thus far. The most popular example at this time of the year is our desperate need to lose weight, start exercising, eat more healthy...Now let's look at this closely. We have, for the last bazillion years made resolutions to lose weight, yet our society is the largest and most overweight of our kind in the world. Obviously for most of us, this resolution is just not working for us. So why do we repeat the same pattern of setting the same goal year after year? Perhaps we feel that this year is different. Today is the day. If not today, then tomorrow! Yea, that's it.

The truth is, change can be very hard if we face it on our own. There needs to be some level of commitment to the REASON for the change in order for us to commit to the change itself. If we do not know WHY we want the change, and if we do not believe in that reason enough, then I believe it makes it very difficult to create and make real lasting changes in our lives.

So what does it take? In order for any of us to make the changes we desire in our lives, this is what I propose to you, and let me be clear, this is not a new idea.

1. WHAT do you want to change? What is your goal?
2. Now tell yourself WHY you want the change.
3. What are you willing to do to make those reasons important enough to put some actions into place so that real change can happen?
4. HOW will you COMMIT to putting those actions in place?
5. WHO will you need to support you and hold you accountable to the commitments you will put in place?
6. WHEN will you begin to put this into action? WHEN you do expect to reach your goal(s)?

By putting this method into place, you increase your chances of success to reach your goals today and in the future. And even better, you will no longer find the need to set a resolution for change only at New Years, your birthday, or if you lose your job!  You can set realistic attainable goals any time you choose. And all because you know what you want and you know WHY you want it.

So is that enough? Hmm, well, for some, yes, but for others, not so much. For others, there is a need to have someone else there to support them, push them, help them set up some daily habits and plans to make the goal reachable. I believe this is why all of the self help books out there can only do so much, and why when we put actions into place on our own can only go so far. We all need accountability, we all need support and we all need each other. In being there for each other, we understand we are not alone in our struggles, we can build each other up and we can challenge each other to make our dreams, our goals and our needs much more than a quick fix or an idea that it will never happen so why try. In being there for each other, we can indeed making lasting change - starting today.

Is today your day?

The Motivation Factor

Today I'm musing on MOTIVATION. What are we motivated by?

I'm talking about that thing that gives us life, that thing that makes us who we are, drives us to live a kind of life that stays true to that thing...

What I find fascinating is that truthfully, so many are living life day in and day out, going along, not really knowing at all where their motivation for living their life is coming from. Are we here to simply exist?

I can't help but be excited over the notion that there is HOPE in motivation! If we knew what motivated us, would we not strive to live it out? Isn't it possible that by tapping into the motivation that drives us to our core, our lives would be more alive, more full, more purposeful and meaningful and ultimately more inspirational than if we we did not know? And in knowing and living our motivation out, it gives us hope in tomorrow, in our dreams and in our lives?

What are you motivated by? What does it all come down to for you?

While there are many theories around motivation and what drives us, I want you to just take it at it's most basic level. We've heard many times in the workplace and in numerous books that motivation cannot be given to someone. You cannot make someone be motivated. We motivate ourselves if we are to be truly motivated, and so it comes, the HOW, the WHAT, the WHY...Are you motivated by the need to make others happy, so that you might perhaps feel needed and a sense of fulfillment? Are you motivated by money, so that you might have more control in your life to exist in any way you see fit on any given day? Are you motivated by hope, so that you might be able to hang on to the belief that tomorrow will be better, that we can be better, that you can change and be better? The list of motivation could go on and on and their reasons could go on forever past that.

The point here is...what is YOUR MOTIVATION FOR LIVING OUT YOUR LIFE??

motivation n. incentive, drive; act or process of motivating; inspiration; state of being stirred to action    ~Babylon-English Dictionary

Life is a Carnival Ride

I'm musing today on self sabotage...this innate ability we have as human beings to continually choose to bask in the state of what we are good at, what we did not accomplish, what we can't do verses what we can, why things will never change for the better, the why me complex, etc etc.

I'm curious about why even though we can KNOW the truth deep down when having to stop and face it, that we are strong and capable, that life isn't supposed to be anything less than a carnival ride with all of it's ups and downs, laughs and screams, that point where you want to get off the ride and the point where you never want the ride to end...

Life is not always what we intend it to be or even what we think it deserves to be. It's life. Unpredictable at best. And we know it. We know it because we live it, because we've been told at least a hundred times. We know it in the very heart of us. It's of course easier to understand when we are telling someone else this truth, when it's not about our own life at all but we know it none the less.

So then, tell me...why is it that even though we know it, we still continue to wallow in the have not's, should not's, cannot's, never will be's and so on? At what point will it finally make sense to us to raise the white flag and admit, "You know, I think it's just easier to take the road I see in front of me for what it is and make the most of this travel."?

This is my challenge for you today. That you would be grateful to the ride for what it is, not expecting it to be anything less than what it promises to be. Everything. All over the place. Wonderfully all over the place and it's taking you on a wild adventure for at least 5 minutes.

The great thing about the carnival ride is that you are not driving it. You aren't responsible for anyone elses life but your own while you are on this ride. You chose to get on the ride knowing the unexpected is what you are paying for, the rush and thrill and fear of it. And you can sit back and enjoy each moment while it lasts. That sounds good to me. That sounds better to me than trying to be on the ride and drive it at the same time, trying to control it, responsible for everyone else's enjoyment of it, trying to be 2 people at the same time - the driver and the passenger. I'm pretty sure carnival rides exist in this form. And life, as I've used the carnival ride as the metaphor to living?

Well I'm not so sure life is meant to be lived like that. While we are responsible for our life and the choices we make each day in HOW we live the life that is handed to us as each moment comes and goes, I'm pretty sure I'm not meant to control WHAT in my life I handle and WHAT I do not. That's life...Enjoy the ride and leave the driving to the one who created you, the one who knows your heart, your mind, all of your fears and mapped out your path long before you were born.

CONNECTION

I find myself musing on connection today. I've got all sorts of things running around in my head as I contemplate a society which has become so commited to the internet as a source of connection. We shop on it, we research on it, we journal on it and the most popular thing we do of late, is we connect on it.

While connecting through a computer screen allows for all types of communication and connections all over the world, are we not losing our ability to connect face to face? Have we lost the art of communication and connection in the physical form? And by allowing this, have we not then lost our opportunity for real and honest dialogue, challenging opinions, the emotional break through that can only occur when we are looking each other in the eye and the ability to have a fierce conversation such that we walk away from it with new understanding, growth and intelligence?

At what point did we figure out it would be much safer and easier to dialogue with others from the safety of a screen and walls between us?

Now, don't get me wrong. I love the internet and the power it allows me to connect with the world outside of my geographical circle of known friends, connections and travel. The idea that this message can be read by people I know and do not know all over the world is a powerful one and I do not take this lightly. This is why I choose to muse on subjects in life that hopefully make you think, be challenged by and inevitably create growth and change. But the idea that we as a group of friends simplify our relationship such that we can say we are connected because of texting one another, or sending an email - this does not make connection, real connection that causes us as a human race to build one another up, does it? When did we stop having those great debates over a cup of coffee or a meal after work? When did we become so fearful of our respected coworkers, friends and families responses to our own opinions and ideas that it just became easier to write them down in the hopes others related and agreed?

At what point did we become ignorant to the lure of the FIERCE CONVERSATION?

There are things we can effect in our lives each day - everything from allowing someone into your lane during rush our, smiling across the room at a stranger that looks sad, helping someone cross the street, offering someone in need the change in your pocket...these are not difficult things, these are not actions that require much deliberation or effort but these are actions that can effect change in you and in those around you. Tell me, knowing this, how we can allow the slow but sure dying of real face to face connection?

Connection builds into us and those we are connecting with. It allows for a sense of truly being listened to - being heard and understood. It allows for collaboration and the sharing of ideas and opinions - the best school ever! It allows for debate and conflict - the point in which we love the challenge!! And it all at once reminds us that we are not alone in this increasingly lonely world that is getting harder and harder to manage with the ever increasing demands that are put on us daily. We are stronger when we are more than one. We are not meant to live this life alone...and we must know it because here we are - me, writing this and you, reading it.

And so there you have it. How will you respond to this musing of mine today? Does it challenge you to call a friend or colleague or your family and make a date to connect face to face? What fantastic dialogue is to come of it? How will you respond to it? Start here first - do not email your invitation. Pick up the phone, or walk over to their desk, or just stop in and make it happen. CONNECTION.

I wish you a very purposeful day. May it be one of connection and collaboration. And may you be inspired to share this idea with those around you. Must run now. I'm connecting with a dear friend today and I'm so looking forward to it. Till next time...

"If all of my conversations with the most important people in my life, successfully interrogated reality, provoked learning, tackled the tough challenges, and enriched relationships, what difference could that make to the quality of my life?" Susan Scott

Current verses Drip

Life is a metaphor...well actually, it's a series of metaphors, one more creative than the next.

Have you ever thought of how we can live our life as it applies to the current in a mighty river?

Quite simply, I find myself musing on the idea of how easy life can be if we live our lives flowing with the current, riding the waves, relaxing into it and in the process of it, being able to build the motivation that comes in the flow, that feeling of being free and wild, our eyes open and able to see our surroundings along the way, experiencing the exhiliration in the rushing moments and the peace that comes in the flow.

Living in the flow of the current is thirst quenching, courageous, ever changing, freeing, alive and tell me; have you ever not ridden on an exhilerating ride where you were not grinning from ear to ear?

Now envision a drip...I think we have all been at a place in our lives when the well is dry and we seem to be stuck in a place where we are waiting for any drop to just fall on us and quench the thirst we have for the life we envision for ourselves. The drip is agonizing. It seems hopeless, it leaves us wanting, in a desert, it depletes us of any energy to move ahead. There is no purpose in the drip.

Sometimes we need to stand back and look at where we are in our lives. Are we flowing in the current or are we standing under a drip?

I leave you with this to muse on this week and as always, look forward to your thoughts and ideas around my metaphor this time around. May this week, for those of you living under a drip, turn yourself around and jump wildly into the current, encouraged and excited about the ride you are about to take.