The Choice to Respond Where Most React

I had a conversation with my husband the other day on the topic of our human ability to react in moments where we need to respond.  There were 2 examples of this in our discussion. Let me share them with you and let me know if you've ever found yourself in the same or similar situation.

Have you ever been on the road driving home from work or headed somewhere and notice that someone is weaving in and out of traffic behind you, cutting off other drivers like an idiot and headed your way? Have you ever sped up to ensure he cannot do the same to you and even found yourself suddenly in battle for the same space on the road? Notice, you are now incensed, angry, edgy, in a fight on the road with a person you don't even know, all to make a point that HE is in the wrong? I'll let you imagine how that all turns out, but consider, how is your own behavior in this situation any different than his in this moment?

Recently, I've been a part of a very large group of people all debating over a name change. One person made the decision to change the name and in the same breath, many people all came at the decision, emotions at the forefront, in disbelief, anger, desperation, rebellion and yes, even respect. In those moments, all that came from this reactionary state was more debate, sparks more anger on issues just outside of the main issue at steak here and results became muddled.

Where am I going with this? I'm wondering, at what point do we need to just step back and let something sit for a bit with us so that we can make a CHOICE on how we move forward? For the person who is allowing the driver to take over the road and cause potential danger to everyone around him, choosing instead to simply ensure he is being a safe driver and getting out of the idiot drivers way...is he being ignorant and tolerant of the issue, or is he actually choosing to respond in a mature way, recognizing that on the road, there is very little he can do to change thie situation as it is except to be a better example? For the name change debate, is the person who is standing on the sidelines, taking it all in, watching the back and forth of ideas, concerns and critisisms and making the choice to come to their own understanding without throwing their hat into the debate...are they somehow at wrong here, or are they actually waiting to respond by first hearing what others have to say, letting it all be taken into consideration until their own conclusion has been decided on and they can then weigh in, calmly and wisely?

I wonder sometimes if we too often in our lives these days, place ourselves in a mode of reaction. Life is moving fast, we're all going some place, have to get something done, be something to someone else and the simple pace life used to be lived at, let's face it, these days is frenetic at best. I find it interesting that as life has gotten faster, our needs have become unfillable, we've become untrusting, the expectations countless, and we go go go, that our integrity, our respect for one another and relationship as a community has dwindled so that even when we encounter a person who is open, trusting and caring, we look at them as if we are unsure of who they are and what they really want. Wow, just reading that very long run on sentence makes me sad.

I'm musing on these thoughts today and wanted to share them with you. I think that by taking time to stop and think and let a situation show itself to us as we take it in, we can then make the choice to respond or react, verses no choice at all and just go in, all guns blazing and not even really understand why we are reacting in the first place. And that if we become collectively, a group of individuals that think first, act later, that we will find once again, those parts in us that are more needed now than ever - more trusting, respectful, great listeners, the great debators ( a great debator can see and understand both sides clearly before choosing their place) and ultimately, better peace makers.

As always, I would really appreciate your feedback on this one. It's a debate in and of itself, but be sure to first read it again, let it permeate a bit, consider both sides, before you send me your response. And I will look forward to hearing them.