I See You!

I See You!!

For a very long time, I went through my days completely oblivious of my own pattern of behavior. From the time I became an adult, I made it my purpose to build into others, working in various management and leadership roles, building teams and building into teams and individuals with the mission of having them see and believe in their own potential and their own selves.

Little did I know I was dishonoring who I was by not doing the same for myself. In fact, looking back, I can see very clearly that I avoided myself quite easily by pouring so much of my time and energy into others growth and success.

Ah, but why?

Then some years back, my life was touched and changed inexplicably, when I met and hired a young woman who I felt was called to be a member of my then team. Having been challenged and beaten down so much in her life, I was face to face with someone who truly did not want to see herself and worse - she felt she was worthless.

In the years that passed, we together worked towards her self discovery and the building of her self worth. I felt honored and yes, very challenged by this journey and at times, even worthless myself for not being able to simply take the pain away. I was looked up to. I was loved.  I was believed in!  All this and more from someone else and yet I can honestly say it didn't even occur to me to honor myself in the same way.  Needless to say, this relationship became what I can only describe to you as one of the most fulfilling and wonderfully important gifts in my life to date.

Then something happened.

In one of our many conversations, deep and full of challenging emotion, she looked at me and asked me why I never talked about myself, my life, my struggles and stories. I'd never been asked this before. She shared with me that in order for her to feel more  needed and loved, she needed to be a listening ear to me, she needed to be included in my journey. She needed the relationship to be both sided. And little did I know at the time, I needed it too.

I didn't want to be seen. I believed that in letting her see me, really see me, my fears, my self-doubt and at times even self-hatred, that she would see through me and find me a fraud, a fake, and therefore lose all respect and love for me and in me.  Turns out, it was quite the opposite.

In allowing this incredible individual in - in my heart, in my mind, and in my life - I offered her the ability to shine and to speak into my life, offering me her unique and beautiful perspective into my story. What a humbling experience.  I've grown by it. I shine by it. Go figure! :)

When we allow ourselves to be truly seen, all of what makes us who we are, we allow ourselves the ability to become something much greater than ourselves. We share in the journey through relation and connection. We are no longer alone. When we eliminate the cloaks and the masks, we feel lighter, while all the while building into someone else.  It's freeing.

I was able to lose the fear, the ego and the limiting self-beliefs so that I could be FREE! Free of judgement, free of living in the past, free of the lies we again and again tell ourselves. There is no better thing than to be loved authentically as you, wholly and wonderfully you. Nothing.

And really, I believe this is what we are created for. To love one another, love one another, cheering each other on and encouraging one another towards success.

TO BE SEEN and TO SEE.

There is no greater honor.

What does this mean, TO BE SEEN?

Authentic Movement says this:

"The premise is that through the reflecting eyes of an other we come into conscious being, we grow a self. For one to grow in a healthy way, s/he must be witnessed by a loving or “good-enough” other." From Suzanne Lovell’s Learning to Love: How Art Therapy and Authentic Movement Transform Being.

 

For me, TO BE SEEN means that I allow my walls to come down and am allowing myself to be vulnerable to another living being. In doing this, I am then allowing all of who I am and all of who I want to be to be exposed, in the light.

By choosing TO SEE another, really see them,  perhaps we first need to allow ourselves TO BE SEEN. It is an act of trust and therefore an act of love. To be human.

And as a coach, I am given this honor daily in the hopes and dreams and beliefs in each individual and group I am privileged to work with. Thank you. Thank you.

My request of you today?

BE SEEN. And SEE. It's so worth it.

It's Not About Me

Do you ever feel like you're too much in your head? I'm pondering on this idea this morning, as I read emails this morning over my breakfast.

Being a New Year, so many times, like many others do, I find myself wanted to begin anew and put an end to bad behaviors and habits, put more effort into giving back and generally try to be a better person, day in and day out. This is admirable I think, this effort and conscious decision to always improve upon one's self and how we choose to live our lives, but in doing so, I sometimes wonder if we're over thinking the whole thing.

It occurs to me that if I remember one simple important fact, that my life will not only improve in quality and quantity, but that the world as a whole will improve exponentially as well. This simple important fact? IT'S NOT ABOUT ME.

IT'S NOT ABOUT ME.

Let's not mistake my meaning though. I don't mean we do not have responsibility for ourselves, our own life and our own actions and needs. We do. But so much of the time, is it possible that we might be placing the focus and attention, our energy and personal power in the wrong place? Who or what do we honor by fighting with our own thoughts and beliefs? ** What if??**

~ What if we were to focus on considering the other person's perspective instead of our own in time of conflict or disagreement?

~ What if we were to put the other person's feelings and needs before our own in times of choice and opportunity?

~ What if we were to serve without the expectation of being served in return?

~ What if we really listened instead of using that time to form our own words we will defend ourselves by?

What if? What 'What-if's' come to mind for you?

_ “During our lives...we experience so many setbacks, and fight such a hand-to-hand battle with failure, head down in the rain, just trying to stay upright and to have a little hope.” ~ Lance Armstrong_

I imagine that by focusing on actioning these opportunities and others, and taking the focus off of my own personal wants and beliefs, brings a sense of freedom. And in choosing to live my life in such a way, what more do we gain as a whole?

Hope... Trust... Self Belief... Possibility... Growth... Joy... Connection... Peace... and the list goes on... All of these things I have the opportunity to gain when I make the conscious choice to get out of my own head and simply live in the knowledge that it's not about me.

Life is meant to be shared. Good and bad, joy and sorrow, beautiful and ugly, life is all of these things and we are part of it all. It's not about me and it's not about you.* It's about US.* Together. Different but the same. And when we really get that and live in such a way, we grow beyond our own understanding. How cool is that?

More to come...in the meantime, I look forward to hearing your thoughts and ideas around living beyond the you. Help me to grow beyond my own understanding. :)

_* Your voice, your song, is a sound to be heard and shared, intertwined with all of the other voices and songs created and alive in and around our world. Together,all of our voices lifted in song, create a symphony that can conquer all sorrow, all pain and all self doubt. ~ Veronica _*

EnVisioning Your New Years Resolution

Given the time of year, you can bet that there is a huge percentage of the human population considering this trend of making New Years Resolutions right now. And why wouldn't we? It's tradition, after all, to reflect at the end of each year on where we've come from and the things we need to work for in the coming year.

While this can be both a challenge and a motivation to create results, improvement, and forward momentum in our lives, most must admit it seems more like an excercise in futility and something more to berate ourselves over as we say goodbye to the following year. This cycle must then beg the question, why do we do it? While we could spend time and energy trying to answer this question, I think it best we instead focus on how to actually set ouselves up for success in the coming years' new years resolutions.

In order to create success for your life, consider the following...

Envision your New Years Resolution

~ First, Begin with the End in Mind...What is the VISION you have for your life over the next year? Ask yourself, who do I want to be and what do I want to achieve by the end of this next year? Create a Vision Board to help you build your vision into something to remind and motivate you as you meet each new day.

~ Create Realistic Goals...You can't get to the end without first taking the journey to get there. Change doesn't happen overnight if it's meant to last. By creating realistic goals that are in alignment with getting you closer to your vision, you will feel more successful more often and more fully in control of your life. Once you reach the end and meet the Vision, you will feel a true and real sense of ackomplishment, knowing the change happened because of your commitment and dedication to the journey.

~ What Strengths and Values do you have in your arsenel that will help you succeed?

~ Live in the Moment...By choosing to take the journey moment by moment, day by day, you can see where you've come from and learn in the moment you're in. Celebrate the little victories as you learn and grow towards your vision.

~ Enjoy the journey!! If you can't enjoy working towards the lasting changes you want in your life, you're already setting yourself up to fail. Take the time to look around you, see the progress you are making, no matter how small and be proud of yourself! Life is hard enough without making it harder on yourself. You are wonderfully and uniquelly you!

~ NEVER COMPARE!! Don't waste your energy comparing your goals and yourself to others. This is your life and what you learn and grow by is yours alone to take. Use your energy towards your own power.

~ Seek Accountability...by taking the journey with someone else who can keep you accountable and your perspective fresh and real. This is where a Life Coach can truly be a simple yet effective key to your success. To take you from where you are to where you want to be. To take your fear and anxiety and turn it into power and faith in yourself!

Following these simple and practical steps can help ensure you make this years resolutions not only successful, but enjoyable as well! So what are you waiting for??

Need some support in creating realistic and attainable New Years Resolutions? Connect with me here by email or pick up the phone and let's discuss how I can help you get set up and moving forward in your journey!

Happy New Years Everyone!! Here's to every success and hope for 2012!!

Responding vs Reacting

As we gear up for the most important time of year when we spend time with friends and family, it’s during this time that some can experience challenging situations and conversations that leave us wishing we knew how to better be prepared. I’ve had a few clients now looking for support on handling those situations that arise during moments when our personal relationships can be challenged and we can behave in ways we’re not always proud of. While the answer is not always clear, here is something to keep in mind as you come upon these sticky situations...

**RESPONDING VERSUS REACTING **

To RESPOND is to be CONSCIOUS of your thoughts and actions. Respond to whatever situation you are met with. Take the time to stop and really hear what is being said, be aware of your body language, think through how you want to answer, what you want to say or not say, take a deep breath and RESPOND. Calmly. Assertively. Patiently and fully in control.

To REACT is to be UNCONSCIOUS of your thoughts and actions.

So where does your REACTION come from? Your judgements of the past have created your beliefs and habits of the present, creating your reaction in PAST situations. IMPORTANT to note here, if you let your past rule your present, you will react to situations when they arrive. Your past decisions will recreate the decisions of your present. In other words, the HABIT of reacting to the past will happen again and again, never changing. In order to change a habit, you need to make a conscious choice to change it in the present, the now. Consciously. Do NOT React to whatever situation you are met with by answering quickly, without conscious thought or consideration. Do not REACT with aggression, impatience, defensiveness or high intensity emotion.

STAY CALM AND CARRY ON.

Remember too that you are not who you WERE. Who you were is in the PAST. You ARE who you are now, in this moment, every moment and choice made before this one bringing you here. Now. Every choice offers the ability to move forward with positive choices and personal growth. This is true for every single person in and out of our lives. With living comes experience. With experience comes learning. How we use that learning and apply it to how we live our life is a choice.

Who are you NOW? What have you learned in the living that has brought you here, to this moment? Respond to every situation, knowing this confidently. You are NOT who you WERE. You are more.

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." ~ Maria Robinson

Tis the Season for Reflection

It's that time again. Not only are we in a time dubbed the 'season of joy', but it's the end of a year we packed full with challenges, goals, discovery, relationship, personal growth and more. 2011 is drawing to a close.

For many of us, this is cause for reflection, and so here we are, looking back at the last year...But what are we reflecting on?

For myself, I can't help but reflect on my life and what it has produced over this time period. I have always been one to strive, not towards success or power, but to make a difference in the lives of those I connect with along my journey, to hopefully impart on another person their importance in this place we call our world. I've no idea if I've managed to be a success in such a way, but that's not really all important. It's true what they say, that it's not the destination, but the journey that counts.

If you want to know the past, to know what has caused you, look at yourself in the PRESENT, for that is the past's effect. If you want to know your future, then look at yourself in the PRESENT, for that is the cause of the future.
-- Majjhima Nikaya

I think the thing we need to be very mindful of this time of year especially, is that while reflection on our lives is important and worthy, it is infinitely more important to live in this moment, in our present. I say this because all too often, when I speak to people around me in life, in business, in relationship, there is a common truth that comes about when we exchange what those reflections have brought about. That what tends to happen is that we focus on all of things we have not yet done, all of the lost dreams, promises not kept, goals not achieved, fences not mended, etc etc. In fact a sea of all the so-called failures in our lives will come rearing up and we are left disillusioned and unimpressed with ourselves. For whatever reason, it is our human nature to focus on the have-nots instead of the haves and so we never measure up. We are our own worst enemies.

As this year comes to a close and you walk into Christmas, a season of hope and blessings, I'd like you to consider this...

That everything in your life is not by accident. That everything your life has produced has brought you here to this very moment. That every day is new and what matters is now and the choices you make for your life today. How will you choose to experience Christmas this year? What do you have to offer those around you, those you know and do not know? What incredible traits that are yours alone can you choose to share with someone else - your friendship, your outlook, your experience, your hope and your love and everything that makes you uniquely and wonderfully you.

There may indeed be things in our lives we are not proud of in our life. There may be a huge part of us that wishes we could go back and have a 'do-over'. But perhaps it is not our place to wish. Perhaps it is our place to fulfill wishes.

And so, as 2011 is slowly drawing to a close, I want to extend to you an invitation to allow me to fulfill a wish of yours. Should you have a desire and a need to reflect on something in your life, reach towards a goal, discover a purpose for your future and would appreciate the support and guidance of someone who can help you get there on your own wings...reach out and connect with me. Together we can make it happen.

Until January 31st, if you have never had a life coach before now, you will receive 3 FREE 1 Hour coaching sessions from yours truly. This is my gift to you. *

HAPPY CHRISTMAS everyone. Thank you for sharing the journey with me. 

~ Veronica

The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you. Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life's plain, common work as it comes, certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson

 *NOTE - Gift offer extended to new clients only. Redeem by emailing veronica@yourtrueimage.ca and requesting Christmas Gift offer. All sessions must be used within 3 months of redemption date. Offer valid to January 31st, 2012 Cannot be combined with any other offer.