Taking the Journey in Bare Feet

Have you noticed that we walk through life struggling to stay grounded in who we are, what we want our life to produce, working so hard to impress others, not really aware that we are losing sight of the child like dreamer we once were, so full of possibility and promise? And it's exhausting! Many times even, we are not aware that we are floating through life, just getting by, for the sake and trust of a steady paycheck, a conversation without conflict or a different view, a need to be accepted and loved and approved of...there is this belief we need to be seen as smart as, rich as, successful as, happy as, and more than, better than...you get the idea. So many of us spend each day putting on someone else's shoes or shoes too small or big for us, then stumble through life knowing something just doesn't quite fit.

What if we were take our shoes off? What if we were to walk each day out in bare feet, with nothing between our 'soles' and the ground we walk on called life? What would it feel like? What could you experience wiggling your toes in the sand, walking a path of hot coals, dancing on your fathers feet, skipping along the road, or feeling the cool green grass under you, and ultimately, leaving an imprint wherever you go?

Walking in bare feet is humbling. It denotes having your feet firmly planted on the ground. It represents a connection with the earth and within your core. You feel the earth move under you and respond accordingly. It is powerful and peaceful all at once.

What if you were to look at living out your life in such a way? That you would choose to be firmly planted as the person you were made to be, living out your life authentically with those around you? What if you were to shed the 'shoes' in your life, all of the facade and masks in your life, and instead embarked on taking the journey each day in wonder of who you really are, in enjoyment and trust that who you are matters JUST AS YOU ARE?

For the first time in my life, I am recognizing that when I strip away all of the beliefs, the fears, the uncertainties, the unfamiliar and all too often untruths of who I should be and instead just breathe and live and BE who I am, I'm a pretty wonder-filled person. JUST AS I AM. And when I live each day out, choosing to be authentically me in conversation, in relationship, in myself and in the moment, I am more alive than I have ever been.

Whitney Houston...Gone But Never Forgotten

I was shocked and very saddened yesterday to read that Whitney Houston, at just 48 years old, died suddenly. There are many well known singers, actors, dancers, who have lost their lives to...well, life. But this particular loss is effecting me in a personal and significant way, so I thought I'd write about it here.

This woman made a huge impact in my life at an early age. I loved to sing. I was singing before I could talk, head phones around my ears all the time and I had the unfortunate habit of putting music before my school work at all times. I can remember listening to, memorizing and singing every song of hers I could get my hands on. Any contest I entered I would choose one of her songs and it wasn't because the tune was so good, and it was. It was because I felt her, I felt the emotion in her music, and her lyrics always spoke to me. There was a passion and love in every note that came out of her and I felt it. I threw myself into that. I felt like she was my soul sister, and I loved her. She was my first concert. Blew my mind to see her on stage, moving and moving us with her. I can remember sitting on the swings in a park with her sound coming through my ears, me belting along with her, no idea what I sounded like and didn't care. I was singing along with Whitney...and it felt joyous.

Today, as the reality of her loss hits home, I feel even more saddened. What a loss.

As I sit here pondering the feeling associated with losing a life so precious in this world, I can't help but think, what is the purpose of all this? What comes through loud and clear for me is this one simple truth - we are not at all what we see on the outside. For all intents and purposes, most people could believe that this incredibly talented, beautiful woman was loving life. After such a passionate and painful journey with Bobbi Brown, she had come through it, stronger, ready to live life to it's fullest. With faith by her side and an incredible mother devoted to her, a fan base determined to support her, money to have whatever she wanted, influential friends to see her through any challenge, she is gone. Not at all what we would believe. How was she suffering? What did she believe? Why?

We should grieve her life and the incredible hope and joy she brought to others through her music. Grieve, yes. But we need to learn too.

What can we learn from her life? Like Whitney Houston, we are not all what we seem. So many are suffering, whether from lonliness, loss, from the belief that we are just not good enough. From constantly comparing ourselves to others to the lies we tell ourselves. From the way we ignore one another to the self centered way we choose to live our lives. So many suffer in silence. Life is hard. More than ever, we need to believe in one another. We need to connect. We need to love and reach out, and laugh together. We need to listen to what another person is saying, really listen, so that we can hear all of those silent truths that don't come out in words and actions. We need to SEE one another. Really see. when we do this, we lift one another up and the suffering is lessened. Diminished. And if we begin to do this, maybe, just maybe, it will become contagious like a wild fire and this world will change. Be renewed. we need to get real.

I choose to honor the life of Whitney Houston by committing to myself and to you to continue to do the work I was made to do. To share hope. To bring hope. To add HOPE.

Whitney, I am sending you all my love now and praying you have found peace wherever you are. I know you are singing with the angels. You are gone...but you will never be forgotten. xoxoxo ~ V.

Daily Acceptance Prayer

I accept myself completely. I accept my strengths and my weaknesses, my gifts and my shortcomings, my good points and my faults.

I accept myself completely as a human being. I accept that I am here to learn and grow, and I accept that I am learning and growing. I accept the personality I've developed, and I accept my power to heal and change.

I accept myself without condition or reservation. I accept that the core of my being is goodness and that my essence is love, and I accept that I sometimes forget that.

I accept myself completely, and in this acceptance I find an ever-deepening inner strength. From this place of strength, I accept my life fully and I open to the lessons it offers me today.

I accept that within my mind are both fear and love, and I accept my power to choose which I will experience as real. I recognize that I experience only the results of my own choices.

I accept the times that I choose fear as part of my learning and healing process, and I accept that I have the potential and power in any moment to choose love instead.

I accept mistakes as a part of growth, so I am always willing to forgive myself and give myself another chance.

I accept that my life is the expression of my thought, and I commit myself to aligning my thoughts more and more each day with the Thought of Love. I accept that I am an expression of this Love. Love's hands and voice and heart on earth.

I accept my own life as a blessing and a gift. My heart is open to receive, and I am deeply grateful. May I always share the gifts that I receive fully, freely, and with joy.

~ Author Unknown

I See You!

I See You!!

For a very long time, I went through my days completely oblivious of my own pattern of behavior. From the time I became an adult, I made it my purpose to build into others, working in various management and leadership roles, building teams and building into teams and individuals with the mission of having them see and believe in their own potential and their own selves.

Little did I know I was dishonoring who I was by not doing the same for myself. In fact, looking back, I can see very clearly that I avoided myself quite easily by pouring so much of my time and energy into others growth and success.

Ah, but why?

Then some years back, my life was touched and changed inexplicably, when I met and hired a young woman who I felt was called to be a member of my then team. Having been challenged and beaten down so much in her life, I was face to face with someone who truly did not want to see herself and worse - she felt she was worthless.

In the years that passed, we together worked towards her self discovery and the building of her self worth. I felt honored and yes, very challenged by this journey and at times, even worthless myself for not being able to simply take the pain away. I was looked up to. I was loved.  I was believed in!  All this and more from someone else and yet I can honestly say it didn't even occur to me to honor myself in the same way.  Needless to say, this relationship became what I can only describe to you as one of the most fulfilling and wonderfully important gifts in my life to date.

Then something happened.

In one of our many conversations, deep and full of challenging emotion, she looked at me and asked me why I never talked about myself, my life, my struggles and stories. I'd never been asked this before. She shared with me that in order for her to feel more  needed and loved, she needed to be a listening ear to me, she needed to be included in my journey. She needed the relationship to be both sided. And little did I know at the time, I needed it too.

I didn't want to be seen. I believed that in letting her see me, really see me, my fears, my self-doubt and at times even self-hatred, that she would see through me and find me a fraud, a fake, and therefore lose all respect and love for me and in me.  Turns out, it was quite the opposite.

In allowing this incredible individual in - in my heart, in my mind, and in my life - I offered her the ability to shine and to speak into my life, offering me her unique and beautiful perspective into my story. What a humbling experience.  I've grown by it. I shine by it. Go figure! :)

When we allow ourselves to be truly seen, all of what makes us who we are, we allow ourselves the ability to become something much greater than ourselves. We share in the journey through relation and connection. We are no longer alone. When we eliminate the cloaks and the masks, we feel lighter, while all the while building into someone else.  It's freeing.

I was able to lose the fear, the ego and the limiting self-beliefs so that I could be FREE! Free of judgement, free of living in the past, free of the lies we again and again tell ourselves. There is no better thing than to be loved authentically as you, wholly and wonderfully you. Nothing.

And really, I believe this is what we are created for. To love one another, love one another, cheering each other on and encouraging one another towards success.

TO BE SEEN and TO SEE.

There is no greater honor.

What does this mean, TO BE SEEN?

Authentic Movement says this:

"The premise is that through the reflecting eyes of an other we come into conscious being, we grow a self. For one to grow in a healthy way, s/he must be witnessed by a loving or “good-enough” other." From Suzanne Lovell’s Learning to Love: How Art Therapy and Authentic Movement Transform Being.

 

For me, TO BE SEEN means that I allow my walls to come down and am allowing myself to be vulnerable to another living being. In doing this, I am then allowing all of who I am and all of who I want to be to be exposed, in the light.

By choosing TO SEE another, really see them,  perhaps we first need to allow ourselves TO BE SEEN. It is an act of trust and therefore an act of love. To be human.

And as a coach, I am given this honor daily in the hopes and dreams and beliefs in each individual and group I am privileged to work with. Thank you. Thank you.

My request of you today?

BE SEEN. And SEE. It's so worth it.

It's Not About Me

Do you ever feel like you're too much in your head? I'm pondering on this idea this morning, as I read emails this morning over my breakfast.

Being a New Year, so many times, like many others do, I find myself wanted to begin anew and put an end to bad behaviors and habits, put more effort into giving back and generally try to be a better person, day in and day out. This is admirable I think, this effort and conscious decision to always improve upon one's self and how we choose to live our lives, but in doing so, I sometimes wonder if we're over thinking the whole thing.

It occurs to me that if I remember one simple important fact, that my life will not only improve in quality and quantity, but that the world as a whole will improve exponentially as well. This simple important fact? IT'S NOT ABOUT ME.

IT'S NOT ABOUT ME.

Let's not mistake my meaning though. I don't mean we do not have responsibility for ourselves, our own life and our own actions and needs. We do. But so much of the time, is it possible that we might be placing the focus and attention, our energy and personal power in the wrong place? Who or what do we honor by fighting with our own thoughts and beliefs? ** What if??**

~ What if we were to focus on considering the other person's perspective instead of our own in time of conflict or disagreement?

~ What if we were to put the other person's feelings and needs before our own in times of choice and opportunity?

~ What if we were to serve without the expectation of being served in return?

~ What if we really listened instead of using that time to form our own words we will defend ourselves by?

What if? What 'What-if's' come to mind for you?

_ “During our lives...we experience so many setbacks, and fight such a hand-to-hand battle with failure, head down in the rain, just trying to stay upright and to have a little hope.” ~ Lance Armstrong_

I imagine that by focusing on actioning these opportunities and others, and taking the focus off of my own personal wants and beliefs, brings a sense of freedom. And in choosing to live my life in such a way, what more do we gain as a whole?

Hope... Trust... Self Belief... Possibility... Growth... Joy... Connection... Peace... and the list goes on... All of these things I have the opportunity to gain when I make the conscious choice to get out of my own head and simply live in the knowledge that it's not about me.

Life is meant to be shared. Good and bad, joy and sorrow, beautiful and ugly, life is all of these things and we are part of it all. It's not about me and it's not about you.* It's about US.* Together. Different but the same. And when we really get that and live in such a way, we grow beyond our own understanding. How cool is that?

More to come...in the meantime, I look forward to hearing your thoughts and ideas around living beyond the you. Help me to grow beyond my own understanding. :)

_* Your voice, your song, is a sound to be heard and shared, intertwined with all of the other voices and songs created and alive in and around our world. Together,all of our voices lifted in song, create a symphony that can conquer all sorrow, all pain and all self doubt. ~ Veronica _*